Ferdi

We received some sad news last week upon our return home from Alberta ... Ferdi had a stroke on Tuesday and passed away on Thursday.

When talking to my friends about my mother in law, I'd sometimes describe her as the original militant feminist, which was not true, but she was the first woman I actually recognized as a feminist .. and she changed my life in that regard.  My own parents taught me to stand up for things I believe in and to stand up for others .. Ferdi taught me to stand up for myself simply because I was a woman.  She'd had a rough time growing up as the daughter of an poor immigrant farmer and she painted some rather vivid pictures of growing up in the cold and wintry Peace Country. 

I first met her when I was sixteen and she was a mother worried about what kind of situation her son and I might get into.  That was Ferdi .. there was concern for him, but also for me.   She was not an interfering woman in our marriage .. she left us to work things out for ourselves.

She taught me the delight of a Scrabble game hard fought and won ... and how to lose graciously at the hands of a much wilier woman.  Oh, I got my own back, many times .. but the thing was, she was always proud of me for beating her.  I loved that game because of her.   Lol .. "medical terminology" .. I still think she cheated.

She made me welcome in her family and we spent wonderful holidays .. the Christmas jigsaw puzzle that the whole family worked on, the relaxed atmosphere, the afternoon nap or quiet time with a book.  Her fried chicken was wonderful .. well, except for the time she tried to kill us with glass in the gravy.  *wink*

She loved to play cards and I recall her exact vocal pitch with the word "gimme" when she finally nailed down her winning rummy hand and wanted a card off the top of the pile.  She was fiercely competitive in a fun way.

I remember the time I first heard her use the f-bomb and I almost fell off my chair laughing.  I'd probably known her for a dozen years at that point.  She really didn't like that paperboy.

Oh, how proud we all were when she graduated from the University of Alberta .. she'd taken up womens studies after she retired from nursing at the age of 65.  We shared a love of books, although our reading material often differed.  She could always recommend something topical and current.

There are lots of things that I recall including the soft grey hair that always seemed to have a willful style of its own, the motherly concern, driving skills that truly made you want to hide in the back seat and her sense of style when it came to dressing.

We'll miss you, Ferdi.  I hope, wherever you are .. there's a Scrabble game going and you get to lay "quizzes" across a triple word score.

Edit:  today, her obituary was posted in papers and I think it was beautifully written, so I'm sharing it here as well.  If you click on it, it will open larger for easier reading.